~Courage, Dear Heart~VCWC 2023

While preparing to catch up on this blog of mine, I came across this post I wrote two years ago after attending the Vision Christian Writers Conference. I'm not sure why I never published it, but it seems fitting to share it now as I prepare for this year's conference. VCWC and the Mount Hermon sponsored writers conferences before it have played a crucial role in my writing journey. I want to remember that as I look back over my life and how God directed me. I hope this post is a blessing to you as well, dear friend. Courage.

Every writing conference I've attended, without exception, has changed my life. Sometimes in small, quiet ways, sometimes in huge, incredible ways. But God always uses these conferences to help me grow and remind me of the way He's working in my life.

The Vision Christian Writers Conference at Mount Hermon last week was no exception. For the fifth time, I escaped to the towering redwoods and beautiful blossoms of the Mount Hermon campus, ready to reconnect with old friends and learn more about writing.

My writing buddy Sarah and I have been to many conferences together, and as usual, we traveled together to this one, accompanied by another new writing friend from our area, Deborah Bainbridge.

We helped with set up, I ran registration again for the second year in a row (and actually felt like I knew what I was doing this time), and soon, writing friends from all around the country poured into the campus to join in the writing adventures.

The classes were incredible. My favorites were the morning track classes on writing for children taught by Jesse Florea of Focus on the Family and Linda Howard from Tyndale. Since I only changed my focus to children's books and illustration this past year, I still have so much to learn. Jesse and Linda offered me a wealth of information. I'm so excited to take what I've learned and apply it as I move forward!

The theme of the conference this year was courage, and it was a timely one for me. I've been at this adventure for thirteen years now, learning and stretching and growing. And now, after all this time, doors are finally opening. Opportunities have come knocking.

And a part of me is terrified.

All of the doubts and what-ifs can overwhelm me. What if I'm not good enough? What if I get into this and realize it's too much? What if I get a contract but my books don't sell? I'm really not that experienced with illustration. What if I can't figure out all the details I need to know? What if everyone discovers what a big fake I am and realizes I have no clue what I'm doing? What if I'm not enough?

The keynote speakers challenged us every day and spoke to my heart just the way I needed them to. (I love it when God does that!) Each of the speakers encouraged us to step out in faith and leave the results to God, remembering that His plans for our writing might not be the same as ours.

My heart thrilled to these reminders. There is such peace in knowing it's not all up to me. Yes, I need to show up, to do the work, to continue learning and growing so I can be a good steward of the gifts and opportunities God has given me. But, at the end of the day, God is the one in charge of results. And, as one of the keynote speakers shared, some of my most important writing may be as small as a note of encouragement to a friend or acquaintance. It may have more of an impact than any book I ever write. That's why it's so important to walk by the Spirit, stay tuned to His leading, and to spend time in God's Word so my mind is filled with His truth.

I always feel so close to God at conferences. Perhaps because all of the usual distractions and obligations are out of the way, and everything is so focused on Him that it's easy to let my mind do the same.

One of my favorite days this year was the third day of the conference. I'd done my morning classes and had decided to skip the afternoon ones and take a break in my room before two appointments that afternoon. As I stood in my room, deciding whether it would be wise to squeeze in a quick nap or not, I felt completely drained and empty. I'd been absorbing all sorts of information, and now I was numb. God felt far away in that moment.

I prayed and admitted my feelings to Him and asked for direction as to how I could best spend this afternoon. Just after I finished praying, I got a text from someone needing help with a late registration-related issue.

That answered that. No nap for me. Yet, as usual, God knew best. After I met with the individuals needing registration help, I ended up having a wonderful conversation with an attendee I'd only met briefly. As we visited together and shared, we connected in a way that, I hope, was a blessing to both of us. We talked for so long, I ended up being a few minutes late to my first appointment! But, oh, the fellowship together was so worth it.

Again and again, I saw God work in these "divine appointments," with me and with others around me. I think that's one of my very favorite things about these conferences: seeing the way God works and connects people together by putting them in the right place at the right time. Watching lifelong friendships bloom and begin right in front of your eyes is magical.

Speaking of friendships, one of the most unexpected things to blossom from this conference last year was a friend group of five of us. Sarah was already close with me and with Leann Barma and Tara Johnson before last year. On our last night of the conference in 2022, Sarah had already planned to have the four of us get together in our cabin. On a whim, she invited Linda Howard, who had mentored both Sarah and me throughout the conference, to join us. We weren't sure if she'd be interested in coming. But she did! Something special formed that evening and lasted all throughout this past year. It was so wonderful to reconnect with all of these ladies again this year. When God brings extraordinary friendships your way, you can only stand back in awe and thank Him for the sweetness of the relationships.

And, oh, the opportunities I've been given! I can't share much about them yet, but providing I follow through and walk through the doors God opened this year, this writing adventure of mine could get a whole lot more exciting! So, with manuscript and illustrations in hand, I'm going to take courage and step forward in faith.

Something that struck me as I attended this year was how clear and wonderful and magical everything seems at a conference. It's what some would describe as a "mountaintop experience." Sometimes, it's hard to hold onto that feeling of joy and wonder as you head back home to reality. It reminded me of the beginning of The Silver Chair, when Aslan tells Jill:

"Here on the mountain, I have spoken to you clearly: I will not often do so down in Narnia. Here on the mountain, the air is clear and your mind is clear; as you drop down into Narnia, the air will thicken. Take great care that it does not confuse your mind."

It's been less than a week, but I'm already feeling the thickness of the air here in the valley. Laundry, dishes, and house projects are all pulling at me. My family needs me. The things I learned that seemed so straightforward and clear at Mount Hermon feel more overwhelming here in reality.

And yet, I'm reminded of the words of Aslan in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader.

"Courage, Dear Heart."

Like Aslan, my Savior is calling me forward.

"Courage."

Calling me to press on through the doubts, the challenges, the pressures and demands of everyday life. He is calling me to something more. I just have to follow Him one step at a time.

And I can't wait to see where He leads me.